use real butter

There’s no recipe today, because… puppy!

We went to meet our puppy over the weekend. Actually, we got to meet her and her six brothers – seven little chunksters in total. At six weeks old they were ridiculously adorable, stumbling clumsily over one another, drunk on puppyhood. I’m amazed that the universe didn’t implode from this ultra concentration of cuteness.

jeremy and puppy get acquainted

holding our little girl

checking out what the other littermates were up to

this little guy came up to investigate (and taste) my shoe

Everyone has been asking if we have a name yet. We have a name. We have several names. I’ve been keeping a running list of all the puppy names that came to mind in the last three months. Jeremy believes it’s best to name the dog after you have met her and gotten a sense of her personality. So for now, she’s “puppy” until we bring her home in a few weeks. She’s a very sweet girl – calm and curious and so, so little! She isn’t a fearful dog, which is good. And she’s just as rough and tumble as her brothers, but they are all pretty gentle with one another (as puppies go).

they flopped down frequently, because they’re puppies

jeremy got her attention

she’s got the right idea

hanging with her brothers

I’m excited to bring puppy home, but it’s not the same as when we first met Kaweah. I think back then, all I knew was the joy of getting a puppy of my own. Now, I know the joy of puppy, the sadness of watching her grow old, and the heartbreak of letting her go. Don’t get me wrong, I would not have it any other way. I promised Kaweah I would be by her side until the very end and I make that same promise to this pup. And on this journey together, we will have ourselves plenty of adventures and yummy snacks and cuddles and friends and lots and lots of love.

silly goofballs

five minutes later, they were sleeping in a pile

except this one passed out before he could get across the pen

Recipe: hot smoked salmon and asparagus pasta

Jeremy and I want to thank you all for the touching comments, emails, messages, and other notes on Kaweah’s passing. We are in awe of your love for our dear pup and grateful for your kindness and well wishes. Thank you so very much. xo

The past week has been a bit of a blur as we try to resume life without Kaweah. Everywhere we turned we expected to see that cute little face staring back at us (presumably wondering if we had beef or cheese or apples to offer). And when I didn’t find Kaweah, I just sat down and sobbed. Or I stood and sobbed. I sobbed as I folded her freshly laundered towels and beddings. I sobbed as I put away her dog bowls. I did a lot of sobbing. It was hard being in the house without her – so we packed up and headed southwest. Kaweah’s absence is still felt, but it’s slightly less pronounced here in Crested Butte. Just slightly.

kaweah’s last sunset

my last photo of kaweah on the way to the vet

tags, leashes, and collars by the front door

I still miss hearing her soft snoring in the middle of the night, or watching her little legs chase bunnies in her dreams, or the funny way she would sniff sniff sniff EVERYTHING in the yard until it culminated in a giant sneeze. Getting outside has helped tremendously. Most of you know that the mountains are my therapy sessions. It’s incredibly beautiful right now too.

i spotted a gorgeous bull moose on my trail run last week

brilliant stormy sunset over paradise divide

wildflowers dot the hillslopes of the crested butte high country

While trail running alone, I can lose myself in thought for hours and think about Kaweah without crying. Occasionally, one of her nicknames will push from my lungs into the mountain air and I’ll smile at the memory of her goofy shenanigans. Cooking helps too. I went through one day of depression eating before I bounced back to a normal meal pattern. Prepping vegetables has been especially meditative. My mom told me keeping busy will help, and she’s right. I shot this pasta recipe a few weeks ago, with Kaweah at my side to catch any stray pieces of salmon. Blogging will help me find my way back to normal.

hot smoked salmon, salt, pepper, garlic, olive oil, white wine, fettuccine, cream, parmesan, butter, asparagus

drizzle olive oil over the asparagus

season with salt and pepper and grill (or roast)

slice asparagus into bite-size pieces

**Jump for more butter**

eastern sierra, october 2004

We said good-bye to our sweet Kaweah pup this morning. She had a good long run of it – over 15 years. In those 15 years and 7 months, Kaweah taught me so much about life and what really matters. We are sad to let her go, but grateful for the privilege to have loved and cared for such a wonderful companion. Jeremy and I always joked that she wasn’t a Good Dog (e.g. she stood and stared at you when you said “come”), but a Sweet Dog. Today, we agreed that she wasn’t a Good Dog, but The Best Dog.

Be at peace, little girl. You’re free now.