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what’s your news

I always get so riled up after listening to the news. We listen to ATC, OTM, Market Place… I heard about the new $2.5 million food pyramid a few days ago and looked it up. I was reminded of it again today on the radio. Here is what the old food pyramid looked like:




I thought these were fairly straightforward guidelines for decent nutrition. I grew up with the Food Pyramid. I ate a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables as a kid. I also ate a ton of cooked vegetables. That’s because 1) my parents are great cooks and 2) the Chinese know how to prepare vegetables without turning them into a puke green mush (sorry Middle America – you guys are so lame). Looking at the new food pyramid, it would seem that the USDA wants to confound and befuddle:



Why is this little androgyne running up the stairs like Rocky? What the hell are these colors? Is this promoting gay and lesbian rights (if so – something the USDA is doing right for once)? You have to goto a web site to actually get one of twelve pyramids that are right for you (and for the solution key to the mystery colors). If you don’t have a computer, you can go eat all the crap you want. Apparently, beans are double dipped as well. Go figure. A lot of industries (meat, dairy, sugar and fat) protested being limited on the pyramid, so the USDA made it so damn cryptic, that citizens of the United States have no flipping clue what to eat anymore. I went and looked up the top 100 grossing food companies in the world and selected the ones best known in the US. I made a little food pyramid of my own that I forsee being released in a decade or two. And I did all of this in less than an hour and for well under $2.5 million. Behold:


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