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pieces of a broken heart

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

Recipe: hot smoked salmon and asparagus pasta

Jeremy and I want to thank you all for the touching comments, emails, messages, and other notes on Kaweah’s passing. We are in awe of your love for our dear pup and grateful for your kindness and well wishes. Thank you so very much. xo

The past week has been a bit of a blur as we try to resume life without Kaweah. Everywhere we turned we expected to see that cute little face staring back at us (presumably wondering if we had beef or cheese or apples to offer). And when I didn’t find Kaweah, I just sat down and sobbed. Or I stood and sobbed. I sobbed as I folded her freshly laundered towels and beddings. I sobbed as I put away her dog bowls. I did a lot of sobbing. It was hard being in the house without her – so we packed up and headed southwest. Kaweah’s absence is still felt, but it’s slightly less pronounced here in Crested Butte. Just slightly.

kaweah’s last sunset

my last photo of kaweah on the way to the vet

tags, leashes, and collars by the front door

I still miss hearing her soft snoring in the middle of the night, or watching her little legs chase bunnies in her dreams, or the funny way she would sniff sniff sniff EVERYTHING in the yard until it culminated in a giant sneeze. Getting outside has helped tremendously. Most of you know that the mountains are my therapy sessions. It’s incredibly beautiful right now too.

i spotted a gorgeous bull moose on my trail run last week

brilliant stormy sunset over paradise divide

wildflowers dot the hillslopes of the crested butte high country

While trail running alone, I can lose myself in thought for hours and think about Kaweah without crying. Occasionally, one of her nicknames will push from my lungs into the mountain air and I’ll smile at the memory of her goofy shenanigans. Cooking helps too. I went through one day of depression eating before I bounced back to a normal meal pattern. Prepping vegetables has been especially meditative. My mom told me keeping busy will help, and she’s right. I shot this pasta recipe a few weeks ago, with Kaweah at my side to catch any stray pieces of salmon. Blogging will help me find my way back to normal.

hot smoked salmon, salt, pepper, garlic, olive oil, white wine, fettuccine, cream, parmesan, butter, asparagus

drizzle olive oil over the asparagus

season with salt and pepper and grill (or roast)

slice asparagus into bite-size pieces

**Jump for more butter**


Thursday, July 10th, 2014

eastern sierra, october 2004

We said good-bye to our sweet Kaweah pup this morning. She had a good long run of it – over 15 years. In those 15 years and 7 months, Kaweah taught me so much about life and what really matters. We are sad to let her go, but grateful for the privilege to have loved and cared for such a wonderful companion. Jeremy and I always joked that she wasn’t a Good Dog (e.g. she stood and stared at you when you said “come”), but a Sweet Dog. Today, we agreed that she wasn’t a Good Dog, but The Best Dog.

Be at peace, little girl. You’re free now.


Saturday, December 14th, 2013

Today (December 14th) is Kaweah’s 15th birthday! At this time last year, Jeremy and I figured she probably wouldn’t make it to fifteen… figured that her various ailments and most of all, her age, would catch up to her before this day. We agreed to take each day as it comes and to make Kaweah as happy and as comfortable as possible. Even last night when I reached over from under the covers to stroke her soft ears, I never assumed that she would be here today. For her birthday, we are making sure she enjoys the one thing in this world that makes her happiest – food!

amuse bouche: brussels sprout leaf, carrot, cheddar, and a peanut

beef 3-ways: hand cut, medallion wrapped in prosciutto, carpaccio

birthday dessert: crushed pumpkin peanut butter dog treats in peanut butter, sliced lady apple, whipped cream, sprinkles, whole lady apple, homemade dog treats

Jeremy fed Kaweah a quarter of her usual kibble allotment for breakfast, because I had this nice birthday meal planned for her (too much food guarantees a puke episode in the middle of the night). She happily gobbled it down and wandered off to contemplate the things that Kaweah contemplates in the office. An hour later, as I was preparing her birthday meal in the kitchen, she emerged from the office looking around as if something was amiss. “I think she just realized that she was short-changed at breakfast,” Jeremy observed.

ready to start

she could not stop licking her chops

jeremy gives her a hand with the carpaccio

licking the plate clean

It’s a silly thing I do for Kaweah – making pretty food for her to devour. She’s a dog’s dog and would be just as happy if I filled a bowl with kibble. I guess I do it for me as much as I do it for her. Perhaps it’s all in my mind, but I think I see her wag more when she inhales beef or peanut butter or cheese.

intent on her birthday dessert

looking to jeremy for the go ahead

she got so excited, she started panting

birthday puppy!!!

Kaweah spent a good 30 minutes lying in the sun and licking her chops after her birthday meal. Later, I noticed she had capsized onto her side taking a much needed nap – her belly happily full. Jeremy called the vet to make an appointment for a check-up next week and the technician knew Kaweah by name. When the appointment had been booked, she said to Jeremy, “She’s pretty remarkable.” We feel the same way. It’s hard to watch a beloved pet age, but every day we get with Kaweah is a gift. She just keeps surprising us all.

Happy birthday, baby puppy. We love you so much!

outtake: sometimes her eagerness gets the better of her